Batman and Broadway

No direct link has ever existed between Batman and Broadway; until now. I think I may have discovered that link. The similarities are undeniable. How could we have missed this? How have we not seen this before? 

Broadway is the home of the worlds fruitiest musicals. Every day thousands of people wander along this one New York street, amazed by bright lights and billboards. Every night thousands more flock into one of the 40 theaters that line Broadway to experience big voices and bad acting. It's not my bag, yo! People eat this junk up though! Right now there are two big budget television shows playing to millions of fans that exclusively revolve around dreams of success on Broadway. Two of them! Broadway seems to be the thing of the moment. Bearing this in mind, it makes sense that this years potentially monstrous summer blockbuster The Dark Knight Rises (and it's main man Batman) will be all Broadway'd up. 

The link between Batman and Broadway isn't easy to spot. You gotta be familiar with this shit to notice. You have to understand the subtle differences that exist between the DC Universe and our Universe, then look past them to the even subtler similarities between the two. The link I originally started speaking about doesn't directly involve Broadway geographically. Instead it involves one of Broadway's most famous productions: The Phantom of The Opera.

If your not aware, the story of Phantom (as it's affectionately known to those that care about this crap) involves a creepy misanthrope who lives under a building, plays the organ and stalks women that are WAY out of his league. Oh, and he wears a mask! Because he's disfigured, or ugly or something...I don't know; I don't research this beforehand. He also sings a lot (I assume) and doesn't have any friends...because he's so über creepy. 

I only started thinking about this because my wife mentioned "Batman" and "musicals" in the same sentence. Immediately I noticed the striking similarities between Batman and The Phantom. These are the links between Batman and The Phantom of The Opera, and therefore, between Batman and Broadway:

1. They both wear masks - One wears the mask 'cause he's ugly or something; the other wears a mask so that super villains don't f-up his billion dollar business, and so that he doesn't get jacked by the cops for breaking multiple laws every night (because you know, it's actually a crime to physically assault someone. Even if they are a criminal). Different reasons; same choice.
   
2. They both wear capes - One because he's the star of a Broadway show; it's all drama and theatrics (obviously). Of course The Phantom's going to have a cape! Batman has a cape because a great deal of his intimidation tactics involve drama and theatrics. Oh, as well as this it helps him glide. What vigilante doesn't need to glide?
   
3. They both live in caverns - The Phantom lives in his cavern because he's a well established creep; Batman doesn't exactly live in his cave, he just spends inordinate quantities of his time down there... spelunking or something. They are both usually alone down there, The Phantom playing on his organ; Batman playing Solitaire on the Bat-Computer.
   
4. Neither is very good with the ladies - The Phantom kidnapped a broad for some company...possibly with the intention of raping her...or having her sing his perfect musical, or something. Batman has never had a girlfriend and continually rebuffs the advances of one woman who is interested in him, the super-foxy Catwoman...in fact he's usually threatening her. Not exactly a Casanova, is he? When one threatens women and the other kidnaps them, clearly they both have lady troubles. Just saying...
   
5. They are both self-loathing super depressives - all the time! Batman's pissed 'cause someone killed his parents; The Phantom's pissed because he has no friends...enough said.
   
6. They are both potentially gay - Batman spends all his time with Alfred; The Phantom writes Opera's.
   

These are the glaring similarities between Batman and The Phantom. Please ignore any factual errors about The Phantom of The Opera...like I said, I don't research. It's the reason I won't get my law degree...well that, and the fact that I spend way too much time thinking about stuff like this.

Look at this creepy Mofo!

I guess it's relevant to me because tomorrow I will be going to see The Dark Knight Rises. I am pumped for this! Phantom (the 2nd musical show) was written by a (super-creepy) Brit, Andrew Lloyd Webber; Christopher Nolan, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Tom Hardy and Gary Oldman are all British too...and they are all in The Dark Knight Rises...so I guess that's another similarity that Batman and The Phantom have in common.

I didn't make this up; the evidence speaks for it's self. Batman and Broadway are linked. Inseparably linked. Forever...

Okay I made it up!