Today I'm going to avoid Tennis completely...well, almost completely. Did you see that Andy Murray match? Marcos Baghdatis looked like an overweight middle aged Greek fisherman out there! The fact that Murray took 4 sets to beat that guy is awful. In my humble opinion anyway...I'm no expert on Tennis. And besides, it wouldn't be a proper Murray match without the usual "OH NO!" moments. Anyway...I digressed into Tennis once again, even though I promised I wouldn't.
This isn't a Tennis blog. Promise.
So, something new...something new...
DAMN!! Cyndi Lauper was a scary looking MoFo back in the 80's! I'm currently watching the "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" music video with my wife and I am starting to realize that I have NEVER seen a scarier looking can-can in all my life. Also...if girls really do just wanna have fun, does that fun need to involve copious amounts of confetti? Because if that is indeed the case then the house party that Cyndi and her posse crash/create at the end of the video was totally Off. The. Chain.
This brings me around to what I was intending to write about tonight. Kinda. In all honesty I had no idea coming into this what I was going to say...I only know that I planned on mentioning Wimbledon. Again. I lied earlier.
Well, we do have the 80's.
My wife LOVES everything about the 80's. The music, the movies, the fashion, Corey Haim. Every. Thing! I don't get the 80's. I lived the first month of my life in the last month of the 1980's and I am not ashamed to say that I am glad I got out of that mess fast! This is mostly because (excluding hair metal) I hate everything that the 80's had to offer musically. We'll get to that.
Growing up I was accidentally totally anti-music. My friends would waste time talking about what they had seen on Top of The Pops, music they had heard on the radio or who they were listening to at that point in time and while they were doing this I'd be off in my own little world pretending to be the BFG, making a dream trumpet and running around with a cloak on. I was totally cool, honest. They would ask me what music I liked and I would respond by nervously saying that I didn't actually listen to music. I didn't. And I was strangely ashamed of this.
Growing up I was accidentally totally anti-music. My friends would waste time talking about what they had seen on Top of The Pops, music they had heard on the radio or who they were listening to at that point in time and while they were doing this I'd be off in my own little world pretending to be the BFG, making a dream trumpet and running around with a cloak on. I was totally cool, honest. They would ask me what music I liked and I would respond by nervously saying that I didn't actually listen to music. I didn't. And I was strangely ashamed of this.
I think I didn't listen to music because I was raised by my grandparents, they were old and as such they had pretty much forgotten what music was! Occasionally I'd visit my mom and my sister; they would always be listening to popular music. I tried to listen along with them, but I realized that I couldn't relate to it at all. I spent my days listening to The Lord of the Rings on cassette and pretending to be Macbeth. I was not a normal child.
In my defense this was the 90's and music wasn't exactly stellar. In Scotland in the 1990's people were listening to Steps, The Venga Boys, and a million shitty boy bands. I wasn't touching that! (My wife will hate me for this.) The 90's did have redeeming bands like Nirvana and the rest, but no one was listening to that where I came from...and if they did, they certainly stopped after 1996. I discovered what I call "the gems's" of the 90's much later.
When I eventually discovered the power of music in my early teens, I was drawn to Hip-Hop. I was attracted to the controversy of it all! The swearing, the glorification of violence, the misogyny (which is wrong!) and the unknown. Hip-Hop was initially something totally unknowable! I couldn't relate to the life of urban African-Americans! I was a white 14 year old from Scotland, attending a posh boarding school. This music was not meant for me. But like a fly drawn to the neon glow of a hanging bug zapper, I was pulled in. Hip-Hop helped me express complex emotions that I never even knew existed within myself. Thanks to 50 Cent I realized that I truly don't give a f**k if it's your birthday, shawty, even though we're gonna party like it is in fact your birthday.
Now, back to the 80's. I just don't understand what was happening musically during that decade. It seemed like it was required by law that every song/album to involve synthesizers, key-tars, keyboards steeped in ambiance, or saxophones to make it releasable. Why?! From my observations I have also noted that awful hairdo's were a prerequisite of success, music video's couldn't make sense and every man had to dress and act (in at least one video) like a Geisha. For someone who was initially drawn to Hardcore Hip-Hop and who now favors Classic Rock (with abundant splashes of rap in there also) this does not make sense. You will never see Scarface act like that. You will never see Eazy-E act like that! (Not just because he's dead, but also because that dude was real!) R.Kelly technically did molest children a la Gary Glitter, but come on! He's about as real as Superman's love child! He does not count! You will never see these things. I know KISS wore make-up, Mick Jagger was extremely camp and at least 20% of the bands that I LOVE were founded in the 80's...this does not mean that I can relate to that decade. Maybe that
In my defense this was the 90's and music wasn't exactly stellar. In Scotland in the 1990's people were listening to Steps, The Venga Boys, and a million shitty boy bands. I wasn't touching that! (My wife will hate me for this.) The 90's did have redeeming bands like Nirvana and the rest, but no one was listening to that where I came from...and if they did, they certainly stopped after 1996. I discovered what I call "the gems's" of the 90's much later.
When I eventually discovered the power of music in my early teens, I was drawn to Hip-Hop. I was attracted to the controversy of it all! The swearing, the glorification of violence, the misogyny (which is wrong!) and the unknown. Hip-Hop was initially something totally unknowable! I couldn't relate to the life of urban African-Americans! I was a white 14 year old from Scotland, attending a posh boarding school. This music was not meant for me. But like a fly drawn to the neon glow of a hanging bug zapper, I was pulled in. Hip-Hop helped me express complex emotions that I never even knew existed within myself. Thanks to 50 Cent I realized that I truly don't give a f**k if it's your birthday, shawty, even though we're gonna party like it is in fact your birthday.
Now, back to the 80's. I just don't understand what was happening musically during that decade. It seemed like it was required by law that every song/album to involve synthesizers, key-tars, keyboards steeped in ambiance, or saxophones to make it releasable. Why?! From my observations I have also noted that awful hairdo's were a prerequisite of success, music video's couldn't make sense and every man had to dress and act (in at least one video) like a Geisha. For someone who was initially drawn to Hardcore Hip-Hop and who now favors Classic Rock (with abundant splashes of rap in there also) this does not make sense. You will never see Scarface act like that. You will never see Eazy-E act like that! (Not just because he's dead, but also because that dude was real!) R.Kelly technically did molest children a la Gary Glitter, but come on! He's about as real as Superman's love child! He does not count! You will never see these things. I know KISS wore make-up, Mick Jagger was extremely camp and at least 20% of the bands that I LOVE were founded in the 80's...this does not mean that I can relate to that decade. Maybe that
I married someone who loves 80's music...so one day I may learn to understand it...maybe even love it. Who knows? Certainly not me. You will never totally escape some things, no matter how hard you try. I fear that the influence of certain aspects of 80's culture certainly fits this mold. Forget fearing it, I know this is the case! I guess all that's left then is to find some girls that just wanna have fun, start a can-can, get plenty of confetti, throw a raging confetti filled house party and then slink off quietly to an empty room, put in my ear phones and cradle myself while listening to "Poppa Was a Player".
No comments:
Post a Comment